Mathematical epiphanies

So, I'm mathematically challenged. Always have been. When I was a little kid, I got into so much trouble for not learning my multiplication tables. I just couldn't.
I don't have such a bad memory, but it's easier to remember things when they make some sense to you. And it seemed to be pure memory without any logic.

Well, I was reading notalwaysworking.com, more specifically this one.
And I was thinking to myself, 25 is such an easy one to remember. I still don't know my multiplication tables, you see. But there are a few I remember, such as 25, 36 and 48, and a few I know how to get to, such as the 9 table.

I was thinking, 25 is easy because 5*5 = 25. One one side you have two fives, on the other you have two-five. And then 5*(5*5) = 125. On one side you have one and two fives, and on the other you have one-two-five.

I thought about 6*6 = 36 and 6 * 8 = 48, and for the first time ever I noticed that they don't just end with the thing multiplied by 6. The digit is half that. I wondered why it only worked for these two, then realised it didn't. It's the same for every number.
But for odd number, such as 5, you get 2.5 as the tens, and 5 as the singles, and that adds up to 30, and so it's hidden. As for 12, it's pronounced differently so I never really noticed it. Not sure why I didn't notice 24 before, though.

Then I realised, multiplying by six does that because multiplying by 5 results in half the number put in the tens position. So, 5*5 is half of five with the period moved over once. So, 25. And then you add one more of it, because you're multiplying by six. And that's what you do for every number.

That also means that 1.25 is a quarter of 5, since 5*5*5 = 125. Which most people would already know, I guess. But I'm mathematically challenged.

Suddenly, some multiplications are making sense. Now if I'm asked what 6*7 is, instead of not having the first clue, I can know it's 35+7. Which, to be fair, is still hard for me to calculate, but after some thinking about it, I can reach 42.

I don't expect this blog entry to be of much interest to most people. But I was excited by this realisation, and I decided I needed it written down. Someday I can look back and remember what day it was that I realised how some numbers work.

It also makes me wonder why they teach it to children as a "learn it by heart just because" thing. If I had been told the trick back in primary school, I would have remembered the 6 table. They did teach me a trick for multiplying by 9, so it's not like they're beneath it. I wonder if they assumed it was obvious and didn't need a mention, or if they thought most kids would only be more confused by that kind of explanation.

This is going to be so helpful. I know people pretty much have constant access to a calculator nowadays, but there are times when using it takes too much time and causes you to be laughed at too much. Being able to make simple calculations in my head will be valuable. Thanks, epiphany. I like you.

The bag of sand from hell and the guy from WTF

The Bus Stop That Kept Getting Rejected

So I have some weights that you need to fill up with water. But I wanted to fill them up with sand, so I went to a store I knew sold sand (after finding a few that didn't). It was similar to Lowe's or Home Depot, except French.

It was a 45 minute walk, which I thought on the way would be a pain for getting back. Even worse, while they did have sand, they had no bags smaller than 40kg. That's 88lbs for you non-metrics

When I went to pay for it (they had a booth you were supposed to drive by), the woman offered a caddie to take it to my car, to which obviously I said I had none. At this point, I'd like to stress that the bag was already feeling heavy. The woman gasped in shock (I'm not actually exaggerating here) and exclaimed "you mean you're taking the BUS?!" to which I replied "Oh, there is a bus! That's much better than walking!"

She gave me a weird look.

Anyways, I was relieved and decided to take the bus home.

Now, a summary of half an hour of dumbness: Avi goes to bus stop A. Avi thinks it's going in the wrong direction, and walks around looking for another stop on the other side of the compound. Avi gets tired of carrying the bag. Avi asks for directions and is sent back to bus stop A.

Once there, Avi noticed that dragging the bag has made a few tiny holes in it. Avi also notices bus stop B a bit accross the street, and decides that's the one going in the right direction. Avi picks up the bag again and goes there.

Avi reads what's written on bus stop B, and noticed the other one was the right one. Avi gets frustrated. She rips the top of the bag open and scoops some sand out, because she doesn't need that much anyways. She puts the sand on top of dirt and worries she's littering so she stops after a few scoops. Still the bag is lighter now. It also has a gaping hole in it. Avi is a moron.

Avi goes to bus stop A for the third time, and realises it states in obvious terms that it's going in the right direction. Right there on the bus stop. If only she had looked before.

Avi is sore now. Awwww.

Anyways, the bus arrives, I get in, I pay, I get out at the right station (that's pretty much unheard of with me. I was really motivated to have the least possible amount to walk).
For information, the bag now weighs 72lbs. I weighed it once home.
Once in the street again, I catch my breath for a bit. I still have some distance to walk, something like 5 minutes if you're walking at a normal rate and not carrying a bag of sand.

Suddenly, Some Guy.

 

And then a guy shows up.

Guy: Hey, I'm new here, what is there around that could interest me?

Me, hearing "I'm a pastry maker" (this exchange takes place in French) and a bit confused: Er, no clue, sorry."

Guy: A sex shop, a movie theatre?

Me, confused what it has to do with pastries, and suspecting I misheard his previous sentence: er... No sex shop in town but there is a theatre in the main square. Otherwise, not much to do I guess...

Guy: You don't go out much, do you?

Me, who never goes out, ever: No, not really.

Guy: Does the Mister not want you to?

Me: no, he... (suddenly realising he's hitting on me, and wanting to make sure he knows I have a boyfriend) he's in the US.

Guy: Oh, okay. (looking at the sand bag) what do you have here?

Me, stating the obvious: It's a sand bag.

Guy: Where are you trying to get it to?

Me: Home.

Guy: Let me help you.

Me, moving aside so he can pick it up: It's heavy.

Guy picks up the bag, we start walking.

Guy: So, your guy isn't home, right?

Me: No, he's in the US. I'm trying to get a visa so I can go there too.

At this point I'm very confused why he's helping me after I made it clear - in my mind - that I'm not interested in him.

Guy: So, you're single in France?

Me: What? No, I'm still with him, he's just not here right now.

Guy: Right. He's not here.

Me: Right... You can leave the bag here. I can carry it the rest of the way. It's heavy. Thanks so much.

Guy: No, no, I can carry it the whole way. Is it much further?

Me: No, just down the corner. I just don't want you to... I mean, I'm not going to offer anything in return. You don't have to help me.

Guy: No worries. So, no sex shop, eh?

Me: No...

Guy: But you like them?

Me: What?

Guy: Sex shops, you like them?

Me: well... yeah, sure, but...

Guy: What about leather? You into leather?

Me, really confused about this guy being so weird: I...

Guy: You don't like leather?

Me: You're making me uncomfortable.

Guy: Oh.

He stops talking but seems to wonder why the hell that would make me uncomfortable. I'm starting to worry he's going to expect to come upstairs. I have to admit I wasn't worried he'd try anything as much as I was worried he'd see how messy my place is.

Me: We're here.

Guy stops and puts down the sandbag. He's sweating. I'm feeling bad that he carried it for nothing.

Me: I feel bad that you carried it for nothing.

Guy: No worries. So, wanna grab a drink sometime?

Me, terrible at just saying no to someone who's just saved me a lot of pain and trouble: I'll talk about it with my boyfriend.

Guy: Why?

Me: Because he's my boyfriend?

Guy: He doesn't have to know.

Me: I'm not going to lie to him. I'm not going to cheat on him.

Guy: Okay. What about no sex? Just tenderness?

Me, confused: What do you mean?

Guy: kisses, snuggles... no sex, just affection.

Me: I'll see what he thinks.

Guy: What do YOU think?

Me: I... I don't want to get attached to someone in France when I know I'm leaving for the US.

Guy: But you're going to feel lonely in the meantime.

Me: I'm fine.

For some reason, I can't quite remember, he gives me his number anyways.

Guy: You won't give the number to your boyfriend, right?

Me: No, of course not.

Guy: I don't want him to call me.

Me: He's not going to want to call some guy in France. But I won't give it to him.

Guy: You promise?

Me: Yeah, I promise.

Guy: Okay, then bye!

I go to hug him because I forgot French people don't do that. He air-kisses me. I mean the way French people greet one another, by brushing your right cheek on the other person's right cheek and kissing the air, then brushing your left cheek on their left cheek and kissing the air. But he does the process twice in a row for a total of four air kisses.

Guy: With me, it's four kisses.

Me: Ah. I'm used to two.

Guy: Oh, okay, let's do two then.

He air-kisses me twice. His hand kinda brushes against my waist but not really, less than in a hug. I don't think anything of it at the time. Now I wonder if it was innapropriate by French standards, where you're not supposed to make contact at all when you greet each other (sometimes even the cheeks don't touch).

Then he leaves, asking me to keep him informed.

Conclusion

So I was at the door, feeling pretty shitty because I felt like I led the guy on. I thought I was clear right away that I wasn't interested, I don't know if he was pushy or if I was misleading. I ended up pretty confused about the whole thing. The guy was nice, polite, there was barely any contact, he gave me his number rather than get mine. He did ask some inappropriate questions but stopped when I said I was uncomfortable.

But at the same time it's pretty clear that he expected me to cheat on my boyfriend. I mean, I know I'm polyamorous, but he didn't know that.

Anyways. I dragged the bag inside, and then had to go up the stairs. I ended up going slowly, lifting the bag for every stair. Now it's home next to me and I'll fill the weights later. I think I need to rest a bit first.

All in all, I'm glad the guy helped me, but I still feel bad that he got nothing in return. If he hadn't hit on me, I would have been more likely to contact him again and hang out as friends (I do feel lonely) but as it is, if we saw each other again I'd be uncomfortable and expecting him to make a move, so there is no way I can do that. I'm debating if I should call him to tell him, so that he doesn't wait for a call that never comes, which sounds like the right thing to do, but I don't want him to know my number. Maybe I'll call from a phone booth or something.

So yeah, the sand is here. I'll fill the weights later. Right now I think I'll get some rest.

Basic Anatomy of Polyamory

A lot of people who have just been introduced to polyamory have some trouble understanding the different forms it can take. Unlike monogamy, which has only one configuration (two people, involved with each other), polyamory comes in many forms. I'll try to explain some of the more common forms.

Three-person configurations:

Vees

A V, or vee, or sometimes L (although V/vee is by far more common) is a relationship in which one person (the hinge) has two partners (the arms or branches), and these two partners are not involved with one another. This might be because they're of incompatible orientations, because they're otherwise incompatible/ not interested in each other, or simply because one or both is monogamous. Vees are pretty common despite the frequent assumption that everyone in a relationship is involved with everyone else.

Triads

A triad is a relationship between three people in which every one of them is dating both of the others. This configuration is impossible when everyone is straight

  

Tees

A T, or tee, is a very specific form of three person relationship. It has a “base couple”, the top of the tee, and an additional partner, often called the couple's “third”. In this relationship configuration, rather than everyone dating everyone as an individual, the third partner dates the other two as a couple. The couple is allowed to have dates without their third, but the third can only date both members of the couple at the same time, or have sex with both of them at the same time.

Four-person configurations:

Ns

An N, or Z/zed/zee, is a vee in which one of the branches also has a second partner. It can start with a couple opening up their relationship and finding a partner each. It could also start with two couples, one member of each getting together. With one more partner on either end, it becomes an M or W, and as you add more partners (with everyone having two partners except the two at the end) it's just referred to as a zigzag. If it comes full circle with more than four partners, it's a ring or an O.

Quads are relationships between four people that come full circle, or rather full square. There are three types:

Squares

A square is a type of quad in which each member dates two of the others but not the third one. Often (but not always) the members are two males and two females and are all straight

Slashed Squares

A slashed square is a type of quad in which all but two of the members are involved. For instance, imagine the same situation as for the square example above, but with the two females (or the two males) involved together as well.

Crossed Squares

An finally, a crossed square, the last type of quad, is a quad in which everyone is involved with everyone else.

Ys

A Y is a relationship that involves one hinge, like with a vee, except in this case there are three branches. You can probably guess that an extra branch would make it an X. After that, we run out of letters. This type of configuration is best known to the public in the form of religious polygamy, usually polygyny, where a man has many wives who only have the one husband. It exists in non-religious contexts though, and in all combinations of genders. The branches typically have either no interest in having more than one partner, or have had no luck finding other partners so far. In that last case, usually the hinge is female and the branches are male, as it tends to be harder for straight males than for females (straight or otherwise) to find partners who are fine with polyamory.

Other combinations (for instance a triad in which one person has a third partner) don't have a specific name that I know of.

That's pretty much it for now. These configurations are all relatively common, however as networks start including more partners, they stop having specific names and handy letters to represent them, and it becomes easier to just ask for a diagram. But in the meantime, if you see these words used, at least you will know what they mean.

Fruitomancy

Today, in this brief update, I shall show you my magical fruit powers, by turning a tomato into a strawberry:

Tomato

Strawberry

Thank you, thank you.
Next fruity hat? An orange. But first I'll finish the booties from last post.

Keeping busy

I've been trying to keep busy in France while waiting to be able to go back to the US. Here are a few things I've been doing:

1) Knitting:

I have a photographer friend, Nas (who has a website) who has been very good about giving me free photoshoots.
She was the photographer for my wedding in 2008. She took pictures of Sean and me in 2011 when he visited in Paris. She took pictures of me with my new haircut when I was back in France this past April.

So when she asked if I would mind knitting some accessories for her photoshoots with babies, I immediately accepted. She asked for a pair of booties and a few hats, and here is my current progress on them:

For the booties, she found a pattern for me, so it's fairly straightforward. The main problem is that the pattern is in French, which made it my first time following knitting instructions that were not in English. I had to learn the whole vocabulary, but in context it was mostly easy to figure out. For the record, here is said pattern.

I only made one booty so far because I like variety, and I didn't want to do the same thing twice in a row. So in the meantime, I started on one of the hats. She wanted a strawberry hat, for which she didn't have a pattern, but it is fairly straightforward. There are plenty of hat patterns out there, and then I just needed to make a leaf for the top. Here is my progress so far:

The leaf part is only half of what it's going to be, and I'm going to be adding yellow dots to the red part.


2) Classes:

Aside from knitting, I've been taking some classes. The big idea was that I would go back to the US, to my friends and to Sean, as an improved version of myself. Also, I've got plenty of free time and I like feeling productive.

ASL (American Sign Language) I took classes for a while back, but since I never practiced it (I don't know anyone who is deaf that I could practice with) I lost most it. I'm starting again from the ground up, still practicing my fingerspelling recognition at this point. When I'm done with it I'll go back to learning Braille. I love languages, and being able to learn one, with it's syntax, grammar and so on, without having to worry too much about the vocabulary is something I really enjoy.
With ASL, if I don't know the sign for a word I can just fingerspell it: the spelling will be the same as written English. So the lack of vocabulary won't make it impossible to communicate the way it does with a brand new language. Similarly with Braille, once I master the alphabet I'll be able to get by with Grade 1, and I can learn Grade 2 slowly.
Plus I always seem to overplan things. When I was a kid I learned to write with my left hand in case I broke the right one. It has never been of any use so far. At least a new language, I can use to communicate with people, if I ever meet someone who speaks it too that is :P
I should probably get back to Spanish too at some point. It will be useful once I'm in California for good. But I don't seem to be as interested in learning things that are actually useful.

Driving theory, I get the classes from the unemployment agency, which is good because getting a license costs about €2,000 around here. I'm not allowed to touch a wheel until I pass the theory, which of course is the boring part. Right now I'm memorising rates of survival when hit at varying speeds, which means it's not just boring but also depressing. At least learning the signs themselves is kind of fun.

Introductory psychology really just ended up a way to pass time while knitting. Knitting only takes my hands and my mind gets bored, but I can't read while knitting for instance. I could watch shows, but we don't get Hulu or Netflix here, so in the end I decided to get some audio lectures from MIT. Sure, I won't get a degree from it, but it's interesting and so far I'm following fine.

3) Reading:

I've been reading A Song of Fire and Ice. I'm at the beginning of A Clash of Kings, and I'm hoping to finish it before season 3 of Game of Thrones starts. I'm enjoying the series very much, but I haven't been reading it very fast. I think I might pick up a comedy book for a change of pace, anyone reading this is welcome to suggest one.